Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Sorry I haven't been here!

Hi Guys I don't know about you but I am sick and tired of Winter! I am so sorry that I haven't been here and haven't blogged about Mexico yet. I will soon I promise. I need a little therapy tonight....maybe no one is even checking in on my blog anymore....I have to apologize now for my blue mood.

I don't know if anyone of you have suffered with depression before but I am really down with it right now. I have struggled with it really bad in years past but haven't been on any medication for about 8 years. I have SAD so it especially bad in the winter time. Usually I can cope better in the summer. I am one of these people that like to be happy and try to put on a good face until I come home and crumble. Ever since I have been back from Mexico I haven't really been able to function. I don't know if the warm weather gave me a false hope and now coming home to the reality got me down? I truly don't know. I hear of all of you crafting and sewing and doing all these wonderful things with your kids and I think tomorrow I am going to just snap out of this....tomorrow comes it starts out good and pretty soon I can do nothing but sit and think of all I should do and usually use sleep to forget my problems.

I am struggling to deal with other people, work, talk to my daughter and Sean without being very negative to get a meal on the table is my big task for the day! How do I snap out of this...should I go on medication? I don't know the answer. Sorry

9 comments:

Stephanie said...

First off -don't be sorry-!!
I have been there and it stinks.
I think you should not go on medication unless it is an absolute LAST resort. Sucks going off :(
Give yourself a bit more time to "get back to reality" from a fabulously sunny trip.
I know you can do it! You can always call and come do service at my house so you feel better, hehe JJ!
But you CAN call!

Joanne said...

I check every day and just to let you know i did call you on friday and was going to ask you about coming to the movie but.....
that's okay. I 'm glad Mexico was good, you sure look FABULOUS and that tan gets me jealous everytime I look at or even think about you! but we are happy to have you back especially Brenna. Come and visit at my house. I have some little people who would LOVE a visit from you and we could have some fun!!!

Randa said...

No apologies girl! This is your blog and we are your friends here to support you when you need us so you write whatever you please! I totally feel the false advertising for spring and i LOVE winter. I am ready to play outside again and see the sun - and let my kids out!!! For me when i get down, dont want to do anything and hate the world I really have to do something for someone else. I have been feeling the everything is too hard recently and supper hasn't been even considered for a couple weeks now but I spent last night making 8 casseroles for my sister since she just had a c-section and i am feeling ready to go again! Does that make me strange? Elder Uchtdorf's talk about all we need is service and to create really hit home with me and I really feel like it makes me WAY happier when i am doing both! My body hates medication of any kind so i avoid it if at all possible - apparently casseroles work better for me. Hopefully something in my ramblings is somewhat useful! (And you need to come over and play in my craft room - it is getting a little lonely some days!)

Kristen said...

I hope you don't feel alone in this. Though I can't say I know exactly how you are feeling, I can sympathize. I have been dealing with loneliness and unhappiness ever since moving to this horrible town. I hope you can find something to help you become happy. Just remember that there are people out there who care about you and are there to help. Of course, I'm sort of far away but I think about you lots and hope you are well. Oh by the way, I loved the pic of you in that baptismal font...I just kept picturing Kaye trying to get baptized in it :) Hope you have a good day!

Kathy said...

Hey there lady - hang in there!!! Seriously, the sun will start shining and then the clouds will disappear and you will KNOW how amazing and completely wonderful you are! Until then don't hesitate to go and talk to someone! There are strategies that can help minimize the dark feelings.

I just have to say how I admire your determination to be fit - I find that I have no motivation in the winter months so KUDOS TO YOU!!! Not everyone can do that! Celebrate your accomplishments - You are amazing!!!

The Gilmours said...

Your definately not alone. We are all here for you.

rosecoloredglasses said...

i do know how you feel kimara....and i can totally relate....i love to talk to you and we can bring eachother out of this funk that we are in...you are stronger than you think and i am on medication and i do agree with stephanie if you can pull out and bring your head up out of the sand ,,,,so to speak,,,, than great...but sometimes our head doesnt come out of the sand as far as we need it to function everyday,,,but definitely talk to your doctor,,,and look up johns wort i think its called,,,,its supposed to be good for depression...i've never tried it but heard about it...its a natural remedy and not supposed to be addicting like prescription drugs...I'm here for ya hun...i luv you!!XO

Mona said...

Kimara, hang in there. Sorry the winter has been so hard on you. This is the worst its been for me. I actually was looking for jobs in some very sunny locations on Monday. We love you and it was good to see you out to the Relief Society dinner.

Eva Aurora said...

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Wish I could help other than to advise you to quit telling yourself all you "should" do and just be happy about what you DO do. Just being you is enough on days like these. Hang in there!