Tuesday, October 6, 2009

My Beautiful Mother.

Today is a sad day for me. 8 years ago my mother passed away. The pain has definitely faded and life does go on. I remember so many things from that day. In May of that year for mothers day she came to Medicine Hat and had her first pedicure (my gift). After her pedicure her legs started to swell...it was the beginning of the end. She continued to not feel well all summer. I didn't realize the seriousness of it until I went to visit her on the Sept. long weekend. I was shocked at her appearance and went with her to her Doctor demanding to get things done. She was scheduled for tests but had to wait 6 months still. I remember crying in the doctors office demanding that he get her in to the hospital. My mother was always so kind and never demanded things she needed me to get her help. She was put into the hospital that Tuesday and never got out.

I don't think anyone believed that she would die. I know that I didn't realize that would be the outcome. The day she died was conference weekend and I was busy trying to feed a house full of guests. I was definitely being a Martha instead of a Mary. It had been a very difficult 6 weeks with having a small child and a very sick mom in Lethbridge it was wearing on me. I wish, if I could change anything, I would have been with her when she died instead of doing things that didn't really matter.

We received a phone call to get to the hospital as soon as possible. Sean drove like a madman reaching 180 trying to get me there on time. I ran in and it was to late she was gone. Later when we were leaving the hospital I remember being absolutely shocked that life went on for others. We passed doctors and nurses laughing with each other, people eating, mothers comforting sick children in the ER. It was like a fog and I couldn't understand how the world did not stop at the death of the greatest woman I know.

I miss you mom. I am so grateful for all you have done for me. My mother is an amazing women. She really had it all together. I know that she had gone ahead and is preparing our place. She was a little like you Joanne, super organized! Never a dust particle would dare land in her house! The thing that makes me the most sad is that she never really got to see what a great girl my London is turning out to be!

We are planning to go to the temple on Friday and in planning London said how much she would like to go again. That made me so proud that she has a desire to be worthy and make the effort to go. I am grateful for the temple ordinances that seal us all together! How blessed I am to have this knowledge.

I can't post pictures of my mom as I don't have any digital ones and my scanner is out of commission. Just know she was beautiful inside and out!

10 comments:

Kathy T. said...

Kimara - that was so beautiful! Thanks for sharing with us. Your Mom would be so proud of you and the wonderful mother you are. Good moms really make all the difference. Thinking of you today.

mishel said...

Sending {HUGS} your way. What a legacy of wonderful woman London has to pattern her life after!

Stephanie said...

That really was a beautiful post - it brought a few tears to me eyes!
Thinking of you today Kimara.

Joanne said...

ahhhh Kimara you made me cry and I am so sorry for you. You have a beautiful testimony and a gorgeous daughter ( inside and out) who is probably a fabulous legacy for your mom. I'm sure your mom is very very proud of you!

Randa said...

A wonderful mother is such a treasure! Im so glad you have such precious memories to share with your wonderful girl. Thank you for re-inspiring me to BE the mother I was blessed with as a little girl. I want to be that mother for my kids too.

broberts said...

miss you grandma:) love you forever!

Kristen said...

Thank you for sharing that! It was lovely to hear about your mother. I'm sorry that this is a hard time for you. These are the times that I stop and think about how blessed we are to have the gospel.

rosecoloredglasses said...

of course she was wonderful woman....she has brought the most wonderful women into my life and for that....i thank her,,,and im positive she is smiling down at london and knows what a true gift she is!!

Stacey said...

Hey Kim,
This was such a beautiful post and tribute to your Mom. I don't think there are many people in this world who can keep her legacy and memory alive so well for their family.
When we were for New Years last year and London asked us who the Wii character looked like that you guys had created and our guesses were all wrong, she was like, 'Grandma!'
You can just tell she loves her and she does seem to know her so well because of you. :)

Mindy said...

Oh honey, I really loved reading that wonderful post about your mom. I share many of your feelings as I went through the same type of loss with my Dad. Last night, my 9 year old told me how much he misses grampa Marshall - and I thought to myself (and said it aloud), "me too." I am grateful, like you, for eternal families. Some day soon, I will be able to be sealed to him. What a blessing the gospel is - eternal families and amazing people we can share our lives with!!