Sunday, July 11, 2010

Barking, Insomnia and deep thoughts...oh my

Well I warn you now this post isn't going to be uplifting. It is a good thing this blog isn't widely read especially now that it is summer. I am up again it is almost 2am and I can't sleep. The story of my life the last couple of weeks. Stress does this to me. I remember when we bought our first house in 1996 and paid 47,000.00 for it I thought I would die! Now flash ahead a few short years and the prices of houses have raised significantly but the stress is the same.

I love the talk by President Holland that he gave at the last conference about the young man that turned out to be him that struggled with a broken down car, broke thinking he would never get his family where he needed to go. How he saw him now in his minds eye and wish he could tell him what he knows now...that all would be well that he would make it through the tough times. I wish for just a moment I could flash ahead to see that all will be alright with my family, our move, London's new school and the house we bought. I can't help but worry.

This is such a big move for London. My heart really goes out to her. She isn't a kid that cries a lot but there have been many tears about this move. Nothing makes a mother sadder than to see her child suffering. Grade 9 is a tough time to move. I pray that the Lord will bless her and help her to grow from this and be a ever better person. She is such a beautiful girl, I am so blessed to be her mother.

We had such an amazing experience when we moved to Brooks we knew it was what we were suppose to do. Now 6 years later we are moving back with heavy hearts. I never thought we would love it here so much. We have such a wonderful ward I love them and will miss them. I have loved working in all my callings especially Seminary and the primary. I will miss seeing those kids grow up. I worry that I didn't do enough...I didn't make a difference....I will be forgotten.

I warned you this would be a downer. I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face I am so sad. I hope that I can become a better person and try to serve others better and make a bigger difference where I am going.

The house we bought is a huge huge Huge mess and it is going to be a lot of work but I am sure that it will be beautiful in the end. We have our own coulee and little creek 20 acres and trees! I have missed tree's. I will miss my little tin house on the prairie it has been filled with love. Brooks has helped me focus more on what really matters. The people here helped me through my Cancer and helped me raise my daughter.

Well all this started because the neighbors dog wouldn't stop barking! I feel a bit better so I am going to try again to sleep. If you are reading this thank you for helped.


Stephanie said...

Isn't it amazing what a little blog talk can do?!
I hope you are feeeling a bit better... You will really be missed here along with Sean & London. Thankfully Medicine Hat is a stop we Brookites have to make ~ so you will see us more often than you think!!
Please let me know if I can help you at all. (I have a couple pairs of scissors around here!)

Kathy T. said...

You abosolutely, won't be forgotten! You are amazing and have blessed so many of our lives with your talents, giving spirit and your endless supply of energy and vivation! We will miss you and your family! When I moved schools from Gr9 I met many of my best-est friends. Wishing you guys only the very best. Hope you can relax and know it will all work out in the end. A new adventure awaits! Good luck sista!

The Cryer Family said...

Hi Kimara - can't help at all I'm afraid, but just to let you know I feel for you, and am wishing you all the best with the move xxx

Joanne said...

ahh you made me cry too! We will definately NOT ever forget you and will come and visit often i'm sure. Our ward will sure miss all of you of luck in this new direction.

boysmum2 said...

I feel for you but you will be shown the right way and you will laugh and smile again, although it sure doesn't feel like it right now!

Eva Aurora said...

I know how you feel for London. We moved just as our oldest was going into 9th grade, and it's been hard on her. Fortunately, they adjust and adapt with a lot of love and encouragement. I hope you can look back soon and see all the blessings that have come out of this trial!