Thursday, May 12, 2011

Fostering a Child

OK my councillors out there I need a bit of advice and cheer. I am so stressed out the last couple of days I can hardly function. NO it not about being 40 ...which doesn't help but about a big change that may be taking place in our family. I love my family so much. Things are going really well in our nuclear family. Yes London is a teenager but she is really an amazing kid that causes very little problems.

We are going through our interview tomorrow and our house check to have a foster child in our house. We have a little girl (11 years old) in mind that we are trying to have in our home. It was great while it was just an idea but now that it is getting closer and closer to a reality I have to admit I am scared of the changes that may occur our family.

I don't really know much about this little girl except her life has been totally unfair! She has had family with drug problems raising her. They have now taken her out of the home as the situation has changed. I can't reveal too much about it for privacy reasons but just know that she has had a bunch of rotten luck. I know she is a nice girl but she has rough friends and has gotten herself in some trouble at school and at home. I know myself I had real problems at that age being adopted with abandonment issues I was raised in an amazing home and didn't know anything of my past. I can't imagine as she goes into her teenage years how much this will affect her! How can it not.

I know we can love her if she will let us. We have lots to do to keep busy and out of trouble on the farm. It will be harder to get in trouble out here. I have the love but I worry of the effects it will have on our family. London has been raised as an only child....that will be a big adjustment. Also it could be for a short while...that will be heartbreaking to lose her. Or it could be for a long while and we are in for a crazy ride!

I am just worried about the unknown, will she fit in, will we be able to do enough? Should we just continue with what we know or take a big risk. I don't know how to express my fears. I want to make a difference. I want more children in our lives but I am scared that the stress of a problem child might do me in? I hope that we can love and help improve a child's life and maybe many others. I know I have a very supportive family I just know I have such a tender heart it is hard to know how it will work out! Any advice will be welcome!

7 comments:

Kathy T. said...

Oh Kimara, I think you guys would make an amazing difference in a foster child's life. You all have so much to offer. We never know the impact we'll have on someone else's life - even if it is just for a moment. I'd pray and go with what my heart tells me. Good luck!

All good things said...

You will never know until you try--and I think that you have a level of understanding that most of us don't have. Yes, it will be big for London, be sure to involve her. Ask me how I felt when my cousins moved in-unannounced. And I agree with Kathy, pray as a family, and listen and then go and do! Good luck!

Anonymous said...

I completely understand your fears - especially as the idea of stepchild(ren) moving in looms over my head. One worries how such big changes will affect everything in the family dynamic. In the end if you feel it is the right thing in your heart, and you are all three willing and ready for the changes, then as your previous commenters said you just need to try. Heavenly Father will guide all of you. And know that you have a large circle of family that are also there to support you. :) Love ya tons - kate

Joanne said...

I say.... DO IT!! your whole family will and can make a HUGE difference and you have soooo much love to help. This is such an exciting time and trust in the Lord- he will let you know what to do and when!

Anonymous said...

The idea of bringing a child into your home who needs love and structure is to be applauded. There are not many who are willing to take on the challenges that come with it. From personal experience I can say it is not always an easy path. Your happy home will change as you adjust to the needs of its new member -- no matter how temporary. If you feel you have the backup and support you need to deal with unforseen disruption -- then I say go for it. However, as a family I think it would be wise to have some frank discussions on how you would plan to deal with things like dishonesty, theft, disrespect and other sensitive issues. Hopefully you would never have to deal with these problems but it is good to have a plan. I am not trying to discourage you -- just trying to be real. There are many rewards but there can also be heartache so I feel it is important not to candy coat it. Prayer will certainly be a big part of this as other have said :)

Anonymous said...

Kim, I truly hope you listen to my advice. Paul and I went down this same path, with the same feelings that im hearing from you. I strongly advise that your family do respite care for awhile, of this or other kids. This is not to "try on for size", but to see how you feel going thru the process. I know that Paul and I had a eye opener in many ways, and respite will allow you to feel these emotions so you know what your getting into. Love you Tammi P

Lisa C said...

I have no advice,just a word of support. You are woman with so much love to share, I know that however you choose to support those around you in need, you will bless their lives. Love you!